She Doesn't Care
by chxndelier
Summary: Emily writes down her thoughts about Alison in her journal. AU.


**Based On Real Life Events**

Everything revolved around her, all her all the time. But she didn't care, not once did she care. You've told her over three million times how much you love her, but she doesn't care. You've told her over two million times how much you hated her, but she never once gave two shits. But you've only told her you didn't mean you what you said once, and did she care? Nope, still didn't care.

You and this girl started off as friends, as really close friends. She knew everything about you, but did you know everything about her? She told you that it was everything, but you didn't believe her because how could someone so elegant and beautiful not have anything to show for it. How can someone so broken and confused have told you everything.

Yeah, she was broken when you first met her, or at least you thought she was. But let's face it, how could you possibly know how someone is feeling over the internet. You met this girl over the internet, she gave you her number, but you only talked on the phone three times at least. You've only texted a few times and that wasn't even a conversation. Only hello, how was your day, and it was over.

You'd asked yourself every night how could you have fallen for someone so quickly and let your guard down so easily. Everyone knows you as this person whom never lets anyone in, but you managed to let her in fairly quickly and she won't even give you the time of day. You remember when you first met her, you were only twelve going on thirteen(your birthday was only a month away.) and you two met on this website.

This awesome website where you can pretend to be someone you're not, someone greater than you, someone you'll never be. You remember because she was Melina Perez and you were Celeste Bonin, formerly known as Kaitlyn(you both loved WWE which was why you both had chosen to be those fascinating people.). You remember because she had been there for months and you only for two months.

You and her started talking through a recent activity where all of your fellow friends could read your conversation. That's where it all began. That's the moment you thought she was the coolest and most sweetest person ever. You even once tried to learn Spanish for her, but she caught you in the act and asked if you were using Google Translate. If only she could see how much you blushed that day.

You were fascinated by the fact that she really did know how to speak Spanish and was slightly jealous that you were only an American that knew only English language. Probably a few weeks later, you and her had began to become really close, too close according to your sister. If only she'd known how much your sister had begged you not to get attached, only she'd known how much you had convinced your sister to come to crypts with the fact that you loved this girl, even if you had only known her for a month.

She doesn't care though. She never did. She didn't care at how you rushed to get home from school just to get on that website and talk to her. She doesn't care about how excited you were when you found out her real name. She doesn't care about how many edits you've made about you two being together. She doesn't care about the huge letter you wrote to her in your secret journal. She doesn't care about you, period.

You heart breaks at the memory of you and hers first. That fight was small and ignorant compared to your others with her. Your heart breaks as you remember all the I love you's that were passed between you two that you now know she didn't mean. God, if only she knew how much you loved her. You would die for her. You would kill for her, even if you've never once seen her in person. You've seen pictures and she's pictures of you.. and your family and that's it.

You loved her so much that you came out to your best friend because of her. You remember because you lost a friend that day and she made it all better just by replying to your hello. She made you wipe away all your tears, even the ones that she caused. She made your heart flutter just with a simple kissy face emoji. She made you giggle just by her replying back with a pout emoji. You thought she was the most beautiful and heartwarming human that ever walked the face of the earth.

But what did she think of you? You wouldn't know because she would always send mixed signals. You remember the time when the two of you traded passwords to your online account, you remember because hers was lovelylatina and yours was celesteb. The memory of when she hacked your account and left a little message for you in your comments comes flooding back. _Hey babe, your lovely Latina here. I just wanted to tell you that I love you so fucking much and you make me happy. _It was a year ago, but you still remember because your heart skipped a beat when you read it.

God, the two of you used to fight a lot, but just like she doesn't regret anything, you don't either. At least that's what you think. You cried yourself to sleep because of this girl and she still didn't care. All she would say is _I'm sorry. I don't mean to hurt you._ Your heart broke every time she had spoken of _that guy _she was in love with. It cracked when she became friends with your worst enemy at the time.

You would always ask yourself, _How could she take her side over mine? _But you never asked her this face to face because you were scared that she might explode on you. You would always roll your eyes at how your enemy would post something about her and your love on the phone together.

You two have said so many bad things to each other over the past two years and now you finally realize that it's time to give her up and move on with your life. You love her to death, but you can't take it anymore. You can't take all the hurt, the lies, the unheard words, the secrets. You can't take none of it. It's time to move and find someone that you think is similar to her, but not exactly similar to her.

You were in love with her, but she didn't care, she never did and you're pretty sure you don't give a damn anymore. So you say goodbye to the one whom you love the most and say hello to the one you fear the most. But guess what? She still will not care.


End file.
